Free from Overwhelm: Tips and Tools for Inner Calm
How often do you feel overwhelmed? In a world that emphasises staying busy and ‘doing’ more, it is no wonder that many of us struggle with feeling overwhelmed at some point in our lives.
We might feel as though we are being pulled in many different directions and unable to keep up, or we might be going through a particularly stressful or traumatic time in our lives, which is making every day a challenge.
Whatever your reason for feeling overwhelmed, it is crucial to be gentle with yourself and learn how to ease the pressure, with these tips below.
1. Lower Your Expectations
Getting organised and creating a healthy structure to your day can increase feelings of productivity and minimise feelings of overwhelm, as long as we allow ourselves to lower expectations and prioritise what is truly important.
We are not super human and there is only so much we can fit into one day, so give yourself a break.
Grab a diary or open up the ‘notes’ app on your phone and write a list of all of the jobs and tasks you think you need to complete. Now go over your list, but this time prioritise the most important tasks. Ask yourself:
Is this really important?
Why is it so important?
What will happen if I do not do this today?
Organise your list in order of priority and move non-essential jobs to another day and remember to ask loved ones for help. If you are going through a particularly challenging time and feel as though you cannot manage, seek support from a qualified therapist.
2. Unplug!
How many times have you found yourself in the middle of a task, only to hear your phone bleep and so you stop what you are doing to check who has messaged you?
Modern technology certainly has its many benefits, but its downside is that most of us are constantly ‘plugged in’.
Replying to messages and returning calls has become a job in itself, which can take up a huge amount of our time and distract us from more important things.
When things feel too much, it is time to disconnect…
- Let go of the pressure to reply to messages straight away. If you are busy with something else, finish up what you are doing before you reply.
- Put your devices on silent or turn them off when your attention is needed elsewhere.
- Schedule ‘technology free’ days or periods of time. You might choose to unplug every Sunday or decide upon a ‘cut off’ time each evening.
- Leave your phone at home. How often do you fall into the trap of giving your phone more attention that the environment surrounding you? Leaving your phone at home will help you to become more present.
- Delete, or at least hide, unnecessary apps on your devices that distract you and take up most of your screen time.
- Resist the temptation to check your phone first thing in the morning. Keep it out of the bedroom and allow yourself to wake up properly before plugging in.
3. Learn to Say No
How often do you say yes to something, even though you really want to say no? Saying yes too often causes unnecessary stress and burnout. When life is overwhelming you, your time is especially sacred.
You are allowed to turn down invitations, leave work on time and say no. If you find this difficult, get curious as to why.
What do you think will happen if you say no?
What will it mean?
How does it make you feel?
Sometimes, simply saying the word ‘no’ can feel too blunt and unkind, triggering feelings of guilt. If you can relate to this, change the language you use and remember that you do not need to justify your reasons.
Here are some different ways to say no…
“Thank you for inviting me, but I can’t tonight”
“Not now, but perhaps another time”
“That sounds wonderful, but unfortunately it’s not a good time for me”
“I’m afraid I can’t, but thank you for thinking of me”
“I would love to help you out, but I am unable to right now”
“I wish I could help, but I am unable to take on anything else right now”
4. Slow Down
How often do you find yourself rushing about, trying to ‘get things done’? In our fast-paced world, life feels busier and more hectic than ever and most of us feel like we constantly need to do more, just to keep our head above water.
When your mind is busy thinking about everything you need to do, it is easy to get lost in this chaos and find it difficult to actually complete those tasks.
When we slow down, it allows us to organise our thoughts and gain deeper clarity about our personal situation. You will most probably find that you can get so much more done, when you approach your day with the intention of slowing down and focusing on one thing at a time.
When I feel overwhelmed, my favourite affirmation is: “I can cope with this, one step at a time”. This reminds me to stop, breathe deeply and ground myself in the moment.
Slow down on purpose, using these tips below:
- Walk at a slower pace
- Talk more slowly
- Practise breathing techniques
- Listen to calming meditation music
- Allow twice the time to get tasks done
- Take regular breaks, especially in nature
- Eat your food more slowly and really savour each bite
- Practice Yoga, Tai Chi and Mindfulness
5. Use Affirmations
Practising affirmations is a wonderful way to interrupt unhelpful thoughts that lead to stress and overwhelm, allowing us to find our centre once again and approach our day feeling calm and collected.
Below are some examples of affirmations I find particularly useful in times of overwhelm. Choose your three favourites (or make up your own!) and repeat them regularly throughout your day.
“I can cope with this, one step at a time”
“I give myself permission to slow down”
“I allow myself to ask for help”
“I approach today with calm and inner strength”
“I approach challenges with strength and flexibility”
“I choose to let go of all that is unnecessary”
“I give myself permission to do less”
“I allow myself to say no”
“This too shall pass”
“I draw on the support and guidance from my higher self”
“I am rooted in the present moment”
6. Meditation: Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation is an effective technique designed to release tension in the body, calm your mind and encourage feelings of inner calm. It is a process which involves tensing and then releasing one muscle group at a time and is especially useful before bedtime, to encourage a restful night’s sleep.
In the following meditation we have focused on a breathing technique which uses the count of five, but feel free to adjust this to the count of ten as you become more deeply relaxed and the rhythm of your breath naturally slows down.
We also start the muscle relaxation technique with the feet and work our way up to the head, but you can start at the top of the head and work your way down to the feet if you prefer. Allow your intuition to guide you.
1. Find yourself somewhere comfortable to relax, either sitting or lying down.
Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath, breathing in for the count of five, pausing for a moment at the top of your breath and then breathing out for the count of five, before pausing again. Practise this breathing technique for a couple of minutes.
2. Now, bring your attention to your feet and continuing with the same breathing technique, tense the muscles in your feet as you inhale to the count of five and then release those muscles as you breathe out to the count of five.
On your next inhale, silently affirm “My feet are calm and relaxed” and on the exhale affirm “I am calm and relaxed”
3. Next, bring your attention to the muscles in your lower legs and repeat the process.
Tense your lower leg muscles as you inhale for the count of five and then release the muscles on the exhale, for the count of five. On your next breath in, silently affirm “My lower legs are calm and relaxed” and on the exhale affirm “I am calm and relaxed”.
4. Repeat this process, moving up the body through the thighs, hips, abdomen and so on until you have tensed and relaxed all parts of your body. Stay here in deep relaxation until you are ready to return to the outside world.
“She believed she could, but she was overwhelmed.
So, she rested and reminded herself that the world would go on without her.
After all, there was always tomorrow.”
Sending you love, light and strength.
By Nicola Harrold
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Hi nicola that was so good to read well done so encouraging it will help me your Glenn and boys are so lucky to have such a kind centered soul around them it’s the 7th of April here in Ireland our summer is on its way at last after our long cold winter weather our trees just renewing their leaves and new growth everywhere blooming flowers blue skies we are still in lockdown its being so long we are all fed up with covid hopefully the slow change that’s happening will see us back to some normality and we get our freedom back I have been struggling with covid the last few weeks I would be lost only for glenns apps when I was 18 years old I was going through a tough time mentally I must have listened to my intuition or guardian angel not knowing it at the time I started to write how I felt just writing down whatever came into my thoughts not holding back asking myself why are you upset angry stuck in my head for and lots of stuff hidden away surfaced the truth exposed I realised I found a way of dealing with the past and letting go of it and tearing up the pages gave me a sense of freedom and to move on it has healed me from so much I have used this all through my life I am 65 this summer sometimes I found I was upset consumed over something I would just write 2 pages and it was gone ‘speaking to my heart’ I call it I have lived a good life no meds of any kind always yoga healthy food love and best wishes always philomena 😊🙏